Life with young children (my answer to Sha's question)

One thing I've learned now that I have school-age kids (10, 9, and 6) is that life with preschoolers/toddlers/babies is HARD!

I know you know it's hard, but looking back on it, and watching my sister and cousin who currently have young children, I am able to see more clearly that I expected WAY too much out of myself.

Young children not only require physical help with every single aspect of their day, but they also tax your mental and emotional state.

Having an 8 month old, as well as older children who can make their own sandwich and wash their own hair has been SO much easier than having three little ones.

One thing I've been reminded of since having a baby is how hard it is to accomplish anything when you have constant interruptions. You work all day long and get nowhere.

Doing that day after day can make you crazy if you expect too much of yourself.

My best advice, although it's so much easier said than done, is to be okay with less than perfect housekeeping, meals, etc. knowing that eventually this time will pass and one day you'll be able to accomplish more.

Having said that, I also know that I am a much happier and a better mother when my house is in order and we can find clean socks! You have to find a balance between what needs to be done to help you feel better and have your home run smoothly, and what you can let go. Remember, you're not "letting go" forever. Just for a time.

I still haven't found that balance myself, and I think it will be a lifelong struggle because our situation is ever-changing as kids grow, budgets change, etc.

The beautiful thing I've learned is that your kids aren't likely going to remember much about those young years. The relationship you establish from loving them and giving your time will last, but they won't remember if they ate ramen noodles for dinner three times a week, or if there's dust on your shelves.

Don't compare yourself to others. What you can accomplish is different than what someone with different talents or more money or time can do...and that's okay. You're only in competition with yourself--to do a little better than yesterday.

If you need to take a day or two to regroup and you have to stick your kiddos in front of the TV for six hours straight--I say do it. I think they'll be better off in the long run if you are feeling better about life.

Another thing I've done is to rotate toys. Divide the toys into large tubs or bins and rotate them every week or so. When kids get bored they "take more out of you" than if they are busy.

Playdough is a lifesaver. It's a bit messy, but always entertained my kids for longer than other toys.

Other favorites at our house include Cranium Hullabaloo, play food, books on tape/CD, and coloring.

None of this helps with a baby, because they have a schedule of their own...but that's where "lowering expectations" comes in. You just can't do it all when you have little ones.

The good news is that it doesn't last forever and I PROMISE you that one day you'll look back and wonder where the time went, and you'll forget how hard it was until you see someone else going through it and the memories will come flooding back.

And then you'll wonder how on earth you did it!