My life has been crazy. I am trying to juggle way too many things and I don't even know how to juggle!;) That might be why things seem to be falling on the floor most of the time. Which leads me to my questions. How do you girls juggle the many different things in your life? What are your time saving strategies? For you seasoned mothers, what do you wish you would have known, done when you were a young mother? What are some good tips for getting my life back in order? I know that some might say cut things out. How? I feel like almost all the things I am doing are important and have to get done.
5 comments:
I'll be waiting for the replies from the smart ones... I'm in your same boat!
One thing I've learned now that I have school-age kids (10, 9, and 6) is that life with preschoolers/toddlers/babies is HARD!
I know you know it's hard, but looking back on it, and watching my sister and cousin who currently have young children, I am able to see more clearly that I expected WAY too much out of myself.
Young children not only require physical help with every single aspect of their day, but they also tax your mental and emotional state.
Having an 8 month old, as well as older children who can make their own sandwich and wash their own hair has been SO much easier than having three little ones.
One thing I've been reminded of since having a baby is how hard it is to accomplish anything when you have constant interruptions. You work all day long and get nowhere.
Doing that day after day can make you crazy if you expect too much of yourself.
My best advice, although it's so much easier said than done, is to be okay with less than perfect housekeeping, meals, etc. knowing that eventually this time will pass and one day you'll be able to accomplish more.
Having said that, I also know that I am a much happier and a better mother when my house is in order and we can find clean socks! You have to find a balance between what needs to be done to help you feel better and have your home run smoothly, and what you can let go. Remember, you're not "letting go" forever. Just for a time.
I still haven't found that balance myself, and I think it will be a lifelong struggle because our situation is ever-changing as kids grow, budgets change, etc.
The beautiful thing I've learned is that your kids aren't likely going to remember much about those young years. The relationship you establish from loving them and giving your time will last, but they won't remember if they ate ramen noodles for dinner three times a week, or if there's dust on your shelves.
Don't compare yourself to others. What you can accomplish is different than what someone with different talents or more money or time can do...and that's okay. You're only in competition with yourself--to do a little better than yesterday.
If you need to take a day or two to regroup and you have to stick your kiddos in front of the TV for six hours straight--I say do it. I think they'll be better off in the long run if you are feeling better about life.
Another thing I've done is to rotate toys. Divide the toys into large tubs or bins and rotate them every week or so. When kids get bored they "take more out of you" than if they are busy.
Playdough is a lifesaver. It's a bit messy, but always entertained my kids for longer than other toys.
Other favorites at our house include Cranium Hullabaloo, play food, books on tape/CD, and coloring.
None of this helps with a baby, because they have a schedule of their own...but that's where "lowering expectations" comes in. You just can't do it all when you have little ones.
The good news is that it doesn't last forever and I PROMISE you that one day you'll look back and wonder where the time went, and you'll forget how hard it was until you see someone else going through it and the memories will come flooding back.
And then you'll wonder how on earth you did it!
Felicia, will you copy and paste your comment into a separate post so more will see it? Fabulous. :)
I only have 2 kids, but my answer IS to cut things out- as hard as that is. Sometimes you can't cut (people have to eat), so you simplify.
As far as church goes, I'm learning to delegate and mostly just to simplify. A hand-scribbled visual-aid is just as effective as a cutesy, scrapbook paper, embellished one.
For meals, only cook if you have to: raw carrots are just as nutritious as cooked ones. No one ever died from eating cold cereal for dinner.
Folded laundry is a luxury, not a necessity. Clean is good enough at our house. And clean comes from the dryer, not the drawer.
Most importantly, give yourself a break. Literally walk away from your dirty dishes every once in a while and do something for you instead.
I can't juggle. Simple as that. I realized this a long time ago and my husband is slowly coming to accept that.
He knew my cleaning and cooking skills in college were a bit...lacking. He still married me and now he gets to love it. Mike is a good man and I am sure he understands your busy life.
With that said, there were three things I thought of that might help...
First, get your kids helping. Giving each child a couple age appropriate chores can save you time in the end.
It can be a little difficult at first because teaching takes time and effort but it pays back big time later on. Even little tasks like emptying the bathroom garbages, folding towels or putting toys away makes things easier on you.
Like the primary songs says, When We're Helping We're Happy! It's so true! My dad has said that during the summers when my sisters and I spent nearly everyday working on the farm together we argued less at home.
Another HUGE bonus to working is that it helps us feel needed, appreciated and gives our self worth a boost. All great for young minds.
It took months, but after a long day working outside my six year old said, "working makes me feel loved."
There is something magical about working.
Second, get outside! I don't know what your usual routine is, but I have found that for me getting outside everyday makes a world of difference! Plus, if you and your kids are outside, they are not inside making a mess. Sweet!
My kids and I have been spending valuable time outside pruning raspberry bushing, planting our first seeds and playing.
If you cant spend some time outside one day open the windows and let the outside in.
Third, do what you love and love what you do! If something in your life no longer has the same exciting appeal to you cut it out. If you can't cut it out find a way to reinvent it and make it exciting again.
I used to do my quilting during the day with all my kids around. I wasn't able to meet all their needs and I realized they weren't as happy. I wasn't enjoying it as much either. I didn't feel it was something I could/wanted to cut out of my life so I decided I was only going to sew after bedtime or during nap time.
Even though it cut my sewing time in half I actually got more done because I wasn't trying to keep my kids happy, kiss that bump, feed that belly, clean that mess or wash that face all while working.
The best thing about that little change was that I started to enjoy my children more. I wasn't so distracted with work. I sat with them longer, listened to them better and wasn't rushed when I would play with them. It was a beautiful change.
You may already do all these things beautifully but this is what has helped me.
Just remember, no ones perfect. Not your neighbor, not your mother, not even the "perfect you" that you aspire to be. No one is perfect.
Do your best and forget the rest.
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